In Memorium

Dear Groundhogs,

It's been almost a week since we have seen you, and we are having trouble accepting that you're gone. Our observations indicate that like Grimm's innocent Snow White, you were tricked by a deceitful apple. You must have thought it a such delicacy, appearing out of season and so conveniently near to your hole. In cruel mockery, the have-a-heart traps are still sitting outside your now-empty burrow, fresh-laced with apples in case you try to return. But where is the prince that will bring you home?

Oh, how your gamboling antics made us laugh. Dudders, remember how you would flee at the slightest provocation, leaving your wife and children to fend for themselves? Mr. Pinkerton, could it have only been last week that Francine refused to let you enter your own home? What caused your spat, and has it since been mended?

We hope you are all together, and have found some sort of groundhog Utopia, where apples are safe and abundant and the fields are full of clover.

Love,
Tasha and Michael.

Dear OSU,

How could you steal our groundhogs? They cause no damage, kept your grass short, and provided hours of delightful fun and whimsy. You've removed more than just the groundhogs from Buckeye Village--you've removed our JOY.

Devestatedly,
Crying in Columbus.